When do moms get to eat?

A Saturday afternoon and this restaurant was getting extremely busy. My best friend and I sat near the entry waiting for our names to be called. While waiting, I observed a young couple with the CUTEST baby (maybe around 8 or 9 months old) take their seats at a booth. Mom held baby and diaper bag...Dad held his phone?!

A waitress came over, handed them 2 menus and left- Mom held: Fidgeting baby on her lap, diaper bag on floor, menu in hand. Dad held- Menu

While waiting to be seated I watched dad make his decision pretty quickly and lay the menu at the head of the table. Mom played tug of war with baby and menu... alternating between trying to read the menu and entertain baby. One hand she used as a seatbelt in an attempt to keep baby from falling, other hand she used to hold her menu. Complete insanity.

Why was no one helping her? Why wasn't the waitress bringing over a highchair? Why didn't dad reach for the baby, so mom could focus on the menu? Why did it seem like her dining experience wasn't as important as his? Why didn't she just ask dad to hold baby?

Ugh, I had so many questions. Eventually we got seated on the other side of the diner, so while I didn't get to see this particular meal play out...I've observed enough similar interactions to have a good idea how things would probably go. Not too long ago a video went viral from a family's security camera.

A mom with hands full of bags falls

backwards tripping over one kid while trying to get another kid out of the car. Dad- on phone. The internet went CRAZY wanting to know why dad was so pre-occupied that she was handling all this on her own in the first place. I had the same questions...but I

also have more- Are dads truly "oblivious" or do moms just not "require" enough? Should moms ask for help more? or should dads just step up more? I think its incredible watching a mom navigate all the moving parts of her household, but just because they can...doesn't mean they should. Yes, like all things in life there are anomalies to these dynamics, I have worked with enough parents to have seen intentionally involved dads... so yes, they exist. But in general, why is this a problem in the first place? We could go all the way back to the 60's and blah blah blah... but really its 2023. Are dads just choosing to be uninvolved and unintentionally lazy? Do they STILL not value child rearing? I honestly think many moms are feeling this way because women have a natural tendency to take on more task than they should. Even with my perinatal clients who have just given birth..."I can change that diaper" "I'll make the next bottle" "you want me to put him down?" Next time you are out to eat, observe how many family dynamics you see where mom spends majority of the meal leaned over cutting up the kids' food, trying to keep them calm, feeding them bites... literally orchestrating a symphony of chaos. So I ask you:

when does mom get to eat?

#moms #kids #parenting